Friday, December 21, 2007

Top 5 Songs Steve Should Have Never Sung (or Never Should Sing) With Bunnie England and the New Originals

Ed. Note: I thought it would be fun to poll my bandmates as to what their nightmare songs would be if I was on mic and focusing on our lyric book intently. Read on to see how the votes stacked up:

Host Steve Reynolds’ list:
1) Heart - "Barracuda"
I picked this song for them to learn, but I never thought I'd have to sing it. Shots of Jamesons are no excuse to sing in falsetto. I bet Ann Wilson rolled over that night, and probably killed someone in the process.

2) Journey - “Don’t Stop Believin’”
Steve Perry never had balls, right? That’s the only reason he could sing this. Women have a hard enough time covering it, and all I can recall after my take on it was I had strained every muscle below my belt.

3) The Scorpions - “Rock You Like a Hurricane”
I’m pretty sure the band next door to our rehearsal space took their own lives listening to this.

4) Janis Joplin - “Me and Bobby McGee”
I would never sing this song unless forced to be gunpoint, and even then I’d have to think twice about it.

5) Blondie - “One Way or Another”
I thought I knew this song very well until I had to help someone sing it one night. After singing some of the lyrics, I felt, well, very dirty.

Bassist Paul Gill’s list:
1) Janis Joplin - “Me and Bobby McGee”
Well, because Steve’s never menstruated and never been busted flat in Baton Rouge.

2) Led Zeppelin - “The Immigrant song”
Because the cops usually respond to his first two notes, looking for the bludgeoning victim.

3) Bad Company - “Feel Like Making love”
It arouses the cattle in the neighborhood too much.

4) John Travolta/Olivia Newton-John - “Summer Nights” (A special 2005 duet with former LBK co-hostess Michelle)
I keep picturing Steve gyrating his hips, a la Travolta—ugh.

5) Jimi Hendrix - “Fire”
Lots of fun, but reminds one of Chris Farley in Tommy Boy—and he’s dead.

Our former drummer (and current Louisiana professor) Troy Messina’s list:
1) The Scorpions - “Rock You Like a Hurricane”
Because no one should have ever sang this song, not even the Scorpions—EVER.

2) Janis Joplin - “Me and Bobby McGee”
It's the image of Steve and Bobby holdin' hands, ridin' bitch in a pick-up truck with some serial killer.

3) Psychedelic Furs - “The Ghost in You”
Has anyone ever sang this song at LBK? Why break the streak?

4) Counting Crows - “Mr. Jones”
Two words: train wreck.

5) The Go-Go’s - “Our Lips Are Sealed” or “We Got the Beat”
I can't imagine Steve jumping around like a teenage school girl, which is what the Go-Go’s conjures in my head. The paradox is if he didn’t jump around like a school girl the songs would be ruined for me. Actually, maybe Steve should sing these songs.

Guitarist Paul Crane’s list:
1) Aretha Franklin
- “Respect”
I have a sneaking suspicion that Steve might be gay. [Ed note: He’s not] If he sang this song, that would prove it. [Ed note: It wouldn’t] Not that there's anything wrong with that, but then we would have to talk about Barbara Streisand and I might have the urge to flirt with him. [Ed note: Paul already flirts with Steve with his sexy guitar playing.]

2) Elvis Presley - “Burnin' Love”
Steve might have the urge to swivel his hips or do some Elvis kicks if he did this song and I can't stand that far enough away.

3) Lynyrd Skynyrd - “Freebird”
Steve's a bastard and he would make us play the full 12 minute live version just to spite us.

4) R.E.M. - “It's The End Of The World As We Know It”
Too many lyrics sung too fast. Steve's head might explode.

5) Tom Jones - “It's Not Unusual”
In the sick, twisted world that is Live Band Karaoke, some GUYS may throw their underwear on stage as a mocking tribute to Tom Jones. Dirty, smelly, skid marked underwear.......on second thought......

Our new drummer Scott Treude’s list:
[Ed note: Like many drummers, Scott didn’t follow the directions. He didn’t list single song on our song list.]

1) Rod Stewart - “Do You Think I'm Sexy”
Despite the fact that Steve is sexy, no one, including Rod Stewart, should perform this tune (especially at a benefit).

2) Rush - “Limelight”
When I was in elementary school, a rumor was going around that Getty Lee sang so high because he was struck in the throat by a volleyball. I always guessed that this rumor was started by the gym teacher, yet I've found no evidence to support this theory. Anyway, I'd hate to see Steve have an aneurism attempting this.

3) “Weird Al” Yankovic - Any song
As funny as he is, there's something fundamentally wrong with covering a parody song.

4) Any Song Sung by a Girl Under 21 Years of Age
I'm not sure that I really have to explain this one. I was going to include any song sung by a woman of any age, but I don't want to discourage Steve from trying “Barracuda” by Heart one more time.

5) Los Del Rio & The Bayside Boys - “Macarena”
Come on, really? Do I need to say “Why?” Forget it.

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