1) In the wake of Madonna’s death, every car and bar in Brooklyn plays only her music for six months straight.
2) Susan Boyle’s follow up her chart-busting debut album with track by track cover of Goat’s Head Soup.
3) Chris Brown is dating Erin Woods. (What, too soon?)
4) Lady Gaga is ensnared in a steroids scandal, caught with the same drug Manny Ramirez used when his testosterone levels were also low.
5) Kanye West interrupts President Obama's news conference and proclaims, “I’m a gonna let you finish O, but I gotta say the Reagan Iran-Contra press conference was the dopest one ever. And I mean dopest because he was probably on some sort of dope. Whoa!”
6) After Randy Jackson decides to leave American Idol, FOX decides to hire Brian from Family Guy as a new judge. His catch phrase is “Yo, what up human?”
7) Battling brothers Noel and Liam Gallagher finally finish their arguing the old fashioned way—a duel at dawn.
8) T Pain accidentally spills a 40 into the autotune at his studio. Then pours a 40 out in its honor and retires.
9) Taylor Swift continues singing. 15 year olds keep buying Fearless and don’t realize they could sing better than her at karaoke.
10) Limp Bizkit release new album and start a U.S Tour. (Aw, fuck me. That one is happening.)
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