1) The release of Guns n’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy inspires the Bush administration to try democracy out in the U.S.
2) Gwen Stefani signs on to be the new spokesperson for Drake’s Cakes Yodels brand.
3) Eminem marries his ex-ex-wife Kim Mathers again, and then accidentally divorces himself two months later.
4) Rick Rubin decides to produce every album that will be released in 2008.
5) Jim Morrison comes back from the dead to record an album of standards called Dead and Singing It.
6) Chris Robinson, Kid Rock, Dave Navarro and Kevin Federline form a new supergroup called We Saw Their [Bleeps] and You Didn’t.
7) Red Hot Chili Peppers release a triple album called Taste Retardium and announce plans to have every song on it released as a single.
8) The rest of the cast from My So-Called Life start a band called 60 Seconds to Venus.
9) Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton record a collaborative album called, Have You Seen Our [Bleeps] Yet? If Not, Please Let Us Show Them to You.
10) Hinder follow-up their hit “Lips of an Angel” with a cover of Eddie Money’s “Take Me Home Tonight.” (Oh crap, that actually is happening.)
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